Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Let It Go, Let It Go!


Never have I ever been one to shy away from shamelessly singing Disney songs.  Anywhere.  At any time.  In a crowd.  Alone.  It matters not.  

And this Frozen theme song has kinda become my life theme lately.  

Within the last month…

I chopped off 11 inches of my hair, and colored it for the first time in 7 years.

I was involved in a car accident, in which my poor little Adventure-Mobile was tragically sandwiched and smushed (on the way home from cutting my hair, funnily enough).  

In the weeks leading up to the start of this rollercoaster, I had begun to think about how silly much of what I hold dear is.  

Why did I want to hold on to much of what was lurking around in the ominous, dark corners of my room?  

To wait for a rainy day, when I would have nothing better to do, than to organize those thousands of scraps of colored cardstock stuffed in a bag?  

For the possible happenstance of one of those incredibly rare days when I would magically transform into one of those crafty girls, who are Pinterest incarnate?  

Waiting for that one day when I would wake up incredibly motivated, with a suddenly creative mind, to begin to plan and assemble that adorable scrap book given to me when I was 10 years old?

I was lying to myself.  And I knew it.

I am not crafty.

I am not originally creative.

I follow and copy crafty things that other people have done.

And pretend that it didn't drive my perfectionist brain absolutely mad in the process.

I could live this lie no longer.

Too melodramatic?

The babbling thing again?

Sorry.

Refocus.

Continue.

I had begun to clean out, to "purge", a lot of what I had been unnecessarily holding on to for a while.  I had such a great feeling about finally simplifying my room, and my life, that I began to think about how distracting all the clutter had been.  

Now, taking things to a slightly deeper level, because I've finally had my coffee, and can mentally do so.

Do you ever think about how even the most valuable things in our lives, will one day hold no value?

I think that applies both to material, and sentimental things.

Things like pictures, little figurines, stuffed animals, birthday cards, lunchbox notes written on napkins, and old diaries, hold a priceless amount of sentimental value.  

But then there's the old phone cases that at one time you thought would be cool to hold on to, because it's proof that you did at one time own a flip phone, then graduated to a slider, the first phone that had a texting keypad….I'm shaking my head as I write this.

The nearly full box of old teenage magazines, that you thought would be hilarious to hold on to have proof for your children one day, that you were, in fact, obsessed with the Jonas Brothers.  

Don't dwell on it too long.  Just judge me quickly, and move on.

Scripturally, I always have known that it's wrong to hold on too tightly to material things, because in the long run, I'll leave the earth, and they won't come with me.  I think, maybe I always assumed this wouldn't be a particularly large problem for me, since I've never had an excessive amount of money in my possession at one time to buy and store up excessive stuffs.  

In the days leading up to the accident, I had had a conversations with my mom about how much I loved my car.  It's reliability, good gas mileage, and over cute-ness, were "perfect for me".  Then it got smushed.  Under a Hummer.  Cars ran over it's shattered remains, as they passed by the crash.  

Over a month later, I'm still not 100% sure why the Lord decided that I needed a new car, but the wise council I've been given from my mommy tells me that He's got something else new and exciting in the mix for me.  

My car was a good car.  And though it was unexpectedly taken from me, I am grateful.  Through all the happenings following the accident, i have been shown an excessive amount of love, and incredible kindness from my friends.  To say that I was touched, and blessed, is a gross understatement.  As tough as the last year has been for me, God has come through and shown me that I am loved, and I do have people looking out for me and my family.  

I felt so guilty for whining to the Lord, about how "lonely, and uncared for" I was feeling.  The Lord showed me how very wrong I was.  How even when I didn't feel like I was important or worth something, that He was still looking out for me, by gifting me with people in my life who would come through for me when I needed them mostest.  

Corny enough?

Thank you.

(Does a curtsy).

My short-lived feeling of renewal from my new haircut/attitude on life, was picked back up after the day of the accident.  It made me realize how much of an impact a compliment can make on someone's day.  Words, obviously, have the power to build someone up so high that they soar, or smash their smiles to the ground in a flurry of sadness (I think coffee makes me dramatic).  Words of Affirmation is my Love Language.  I take to heart, and internalize, and yes, excessively over-analyze, absolutely everything that people say to me; both positive and negative.  As a result of my preoccupation with words, I've always tried to be careful of my words.  And then, I wondered…Why don't we compliment more?  Each day at the shop has provided new opportunities to compliment, to build up, customers, both new and the usuals.  Maybe I'm just more aware of the opportunities.  

What a privilege.  

Compliment a stranger.  

Encourage a friend.  

To say nothing, and just offer a hug, when words can't do the job.

The lesson to "let it go" that I've been learning, is tough for me to apply to the negative words that I've had said to/about me in the last year.  But, since realizing the fact that I pay too much attention to negativity, and seeing the effect that it can have on my life (only if I let it, mind you), I've realized that lots of the people I interact with on a daily basis, are experiencing the same feelings.  But not many people take the time, or opportunity, to make them feel better.

So, why not try a little harder?  

Why not make it a habit to truly mean it, when you ask someone "How are you today"?  

As easy as it is to tune out when that question is asked as a greeting, what kind of difference would it make if we were to actually listen, and genuinely care, about what kind of day that person is having?  

I can remember on several occasions, when people have done that towards me, and the feeling of haven someone actually care enough to dig a little deeper than surface level, made enough of an impact on me to be memorable.

And for those few, "special", cases when your efforts seem to be rejected by a particular someone who is unaccustomed to sharing much about themselves, what do you really lose by still asking them, with the same genuine interest, about their day/lives/work/families?  

Maybe all you get in response to your "How are you today?", is a quick, habitual "Good, thanks" before they proceed to order their large, nonfat, no foam latte.  

At least you asked.  

Maybe eventually one of these days, you'll actually get a decent, slightly more lengthy, response.  Maybe they'll have a day coming soon, when all they really want/need, is someone to ask with true concern, how they are doing.  

Then again, maybe not.

But you've lost nothing, except the small amount of oxygen it took to ask the question.

In my daily interactions with the oh so wide range of people coming through these finger-smudged double doors, there have been quite a variety of personalities approach my register.  A select bunch, I've decided to adopt as my personal "projects".  

They will ignore my smiling greeting no longer.  

No more could I simply let them get away with rattling off their usual order, without at least truthfully telling me how their weekend was.  

I had had enough.

We simply had to become friends.

A few of these "projects" have, in time, given up on trying to avoid my questions with short answers, and in turn, have become some of my favorite customers.  

Now that I have strayed far, far, far and away off track of where I started, I shall now attempt to tie together these two ends of a very confusing, rambling, string of words.

For me, at least, I feel that the less clutter I have in my life (both emotional and material), the less I have around me to distract from where my time, and efforts, would be better spent:  investing in the people that I have been gifted to encounter, in my day to day goings on.  

So, basically, the new life moral I've learned:

Don't be so distracted by complicated clutter around me, that I miss the simple interactions placed directly in front of me.  

I'm out of words to ramble.  I shall say no more. 

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